Twitter / StephAntoinette

Thursday, June 3, 2010

So here I grad.

You start college thinking that when its all over you'll be at the right place. Right now, I'm completely lost. I thought I knew exactly what I wanted, I thought that somehow going to college would simplify everything and direct me exactly where I needed to go. Well, clearly I was misinformed.

I keep hearing people asking me what I want to do; I remember when I was little always saying, "When I grow up I want to be..." has that time come? Am I grown up? If anyone asks me that question right now, I don't have an honest answer.

Join the Peace Crops, fly to Haiti and help, go to grad school, get a job at a marketing firm, get a job at a Fashion PR agency....confusion after confusion.

I guess this isn't supposed to be easy, but I would appreciate some sort of sense of direction.

One thing I do know, I'm ready to start somewhere new. Charlotte is old news to me, a place where I've lost too many loved ones, and gotten my heart broken numerous times. Yes, there have been some good times, but a new start would be nice.

I think growing up is terrifying, its a right of passage, but it scares the hell out of me.

People get older, responsibilities get bigger. You can no longer wander around aimlessly, without a care in the world. This is now the time to start realizing that the rest of your life begins right now. The grown up life.

I often wonder where I'll be a year from now, even six months from now. Its scary not knowing where you'll life will go, but all the same exciting to see what lies ahead. I find myself worrying way to much about things that I can not control. I tend to pull myself out of situations and sit back and realize that the best things that I have experienced in my life have not been planned, its the unplanned moments that always end up being amazing.

I'm interning at a Marketing firm right now. I've only been here for a couple of days, but I have enjoyed it. I have to say I was worried in the beginning. I was afraid that I hadn't learned enough in school, that I would be completely lost here. I have proven myself wrong. I did learn a lot, and I am confident that I can do whatever work comes my way. Internships are for learning, but its comforting to know that I am prepared. That those four years of late nights and early mornings paid off.

Four years ago, if you would have asked me where I saw myself in four would not have been here. Expect the unexpected.


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