Today is Thanksgiving Day.
As with other days, the Holidays especially bring some sort of emotion. Of course everyone out there hopes you are happy and joyful but some of us have a different set of feelings. Sitting here, hours before our meal, I'm trying to get myself together. The reason I say this is because the holidays bring a sort of melancholy for me. A feeling of sadness, of memories that only exist in the back of my mind.
On days like this when families come together I think of my family. Of how we have lost so much. Of how wonderful my early days where. Now the dinner table lacks all of my Grandparents, and that to me is extremely painful.
The other day I called my mother and we got to talking about Christmas music, all of the sudden she began to cry. I was confused at first, but I quickly realized that her mother used to love Christmas music. How can one thing that brings smiles to so many, make someone else cry? My grandmother used to play her christmas records and dance around in her living room. We still have those records and that antique record player, but she is no longer here to dance with us.
Growing up in Venezuela around the holidays was completely different. I guess I took it for granted. I always knew my entire family would be at the dinner table, I always knew my Grandparents would be having us over for dinner and presents. I always knew I'd be able to play and make memories with all of my cousins.
Now we spend holidays alone. The four of us, reminiscing on the good times. We have a special bond due to all we have been through. This part of us strengthens me every single day. I feel that if we have survived all of this, we can survive so much more. Leaving our family and a country that we loved, to start all over in a foreign land. Not everyone can say they have gone through this. Losing loved ones and family moving away, this has bonded the four of us even more.
So today I am grateful for my family. They are truly amazing and I have no idea how I got this lucky. They have been there for me through the good and the bad, and I know they will be there for me for years to come. On these holidays we will remember our loved ones, who went through so much to get us where we are. No one will ever be able to break the bond that we all share, and these memories that I have will forever remain close to my heart. Every day I live for them, I hope I'm making them proud and becoming the woman they taught me to be.